md: be more careful setting MD_CHANGE_CLEAN

When MD_CHANGE_CLEAN is set we might block in md_write_start.
So we should only set it when fairly sure that something will clear
it.

There are two places where it is set so as to encourage a metadata
update to record the progress of resync/recovery.  This should only
be done if the internal metadata update mechanisms are in use, which
can be tested by by inspecting '->persistent'.

Signed-off-by: NeilBrown <neilb@suse.de>