md: reject a re-add request that cannot be honoured.

The 'add_new_disk' ioctl can be used to add a device either as a
spare, or as an active disk that just needs to be resynced based on
write-intent-bitmap information (re-add)

Currently if a re-add is requested but fails we add as a spare
instead.  This makes it impossible for user-space to check for
failure.

So change to require that a re-add attempt will either succeed or
completely fail.  User-space can then decide what to do next.

Signed-off-by: NeilBrown <neilb@suse.de>