drbd: avoid spurious self-outdating with concurrent disconnect / down

If peers are "simultaneously" told to disconnect from each other,
either explicitly, or implicitly by taking down the resource,
with bad timing, one side may see its disconnect "fail" with
a result of "state change failed by peer", and interpret this as
"please oudate yourself".

Try to catch this by checking for current connection status,
and possibly retry as local-only state change instead.

Signed-off-by: Lars Ellenberg <lars.ellenberg@linbit.com>
Signed-off-by: Jens Axboe <axboe@kernel.dk>