xfs: add a xfs_iext_update_extent helper

This helper is used to update an extent record based on the extent index,
and can be used to provide a level of abstractions between callers that
want to modify in-core extent records and the details of the extent list
implementation.

Also switch all users of the xfs_bmbt_set_all(xfs_iext_get_ext(...))
pattern to this new helper.

Signed-off-by: Christoph Hellwig <hch@lst.de>
Reviewed-by: Darrick J. Wong <darrick.wong@oracle.com>
Signed-off-by: Darrick J. Wong <darrick.wong@oracle.com>